I can’t believe that two months ago I couldn’t be here.
That was honestly my darkest days I’ve ever had to endure. How do you tell the man you love that we can’t live in the place he adores most? The place we had spent 8 months shaping into our dream, where we’ve invested hundred of dollars in fruit trees, spent endless hours planting and caring for them. All for the dream of providing the perfect life for our child.
As soon as that beautiful child arrived, my head was telling me it was the biggest mistake I had ever made. It was too hot, too dry, too far out, too much to handle. I grieved for our house we had just sold. With our best friends next door, my Dad 7 minutes up the hill, Chris’s parents 30 minutes away. It was normal, it was predictable, it was what I needed right there in that moment. So many times I wanted to call the new owner and explain we made a mistake and needed our house back.
But slowly it got better. I knew deep down, this is what I wanted. The dream life we have worked so hard for. The reason we don’t have brand new cars, take holidays, go out drinking, buy expensive clothes. Everything we have sacrificed has been for this. Slowly I remembered that. Slowly the temperature left the high 30’s and kid 40’s. Slowly I found confidence in my abilities as a new Mum. Slowly I began to fall in love with this place all over again.
I still find it isolating at times, but isn’t motherhood lonely at times not matter where or how you live?
So the trigger for this post is this sunrise. As my boys giggle and chat away inside, I’ve snuck outside to snap this. So much about this photo reminds me of our very first morning out here. When we jumped out of bed in excitement to see that first sun break over the rise. This property changes daily through the seasons and I guess our life will now too. I just need to look toward the change with as much excitement as this and I’m sure our life here will be our version of perfect.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *