More people have seen your tits than you ever thought possible. Most of the time you don’t even realise one is still hanging out from the last feed as your little one burps all over your chest.

You leak milk fucking everywhere! In the bed, down your side, on your kid, on your phone. That old habit of drip drying after a shower in summer is a distant memory as you end up with milk streaming down your jelly belly.

Speaking of phones, you will almost drop yours on your infant at least once in the night while trying to check their “Special K” lip latch.

You will be spewed, pooed and pissed on all while this cute little thing guzzles and guzzles, further adding to their inability to control their bodily functions.

You will look down at this little face that has just “popped” off and perched on top of your boob, with a tiny mouth open, a dribble of milk on the side, and a slow deep breathing that can only mean one thing… It’s asleep and think “thank fuck, time for sleep”.

Then you remember this won’t last forever and soon you’ll have some surly teenager that won’t let you hug them in public and decide to leave them there just a little bit longer.

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